A good marriage isn't something you find; it's something you make... and you have to keep on making it.
Truer words have never been spoken. Too many our marriage looks perfect. Social media does a great job at cloaking the flaws in everything. Over the years I've learned to keep our issues close. I'd rather deal with things internally than lay it out for the world to see.
This past year has been especially difficult on me. I am emotionally tattered and just plain exhausted. My attitude and the distance has definitely taken a toll on us.
There has been many times that I didn't feel 'in love'. I've felt void and empty on quite a few occasions and spent a few long drives to VA very unexcited.
I'm no longer ashamed of these feelings. They're 100% normal and can be repaired. It's naive to think that an eternity can be spent without a few bad times.
The honeymoon phase will definitely come and go. Marriage is a delicate thing that takes nutrturing to stay strong. I've spent quite a bit of time reflecting on our marriage and what I can do to make it the best it can be.
#1 I've tried to stop tearing my husband down. He's only human and humans aren't perfect. We all make mistakes or lose touch with things at times.
#2 I attempt to touch base with his feelings every day. Asking someone how they feel only takes a moment and can make them feel like gold.
#3 I try to ask what I can do to make his day better every day. Most days he'll say nothing, but it's really the thought that counts.
#4 every day I try to say kind words to him and think of the things I really love about him. Reminding yourself why you married someone can create butterflies rather quickly.
#5 I vocalize what's bothering me. Internalizing things will only make the feelings grow. It's important to let someone know when you aren't feeling good in the current situation.
I know these things seem rather small, but they really help to remind me how great my husband is. I couldn't be more happy in my marriage. I was lucky enough to find a man that's extremely understanding and faithful. He knows that my moods are temporary and that I need emotional reassurance often.
You may always love someone, but you might not always be in love. Don't give up on your significant other just because the butterflies are gone. Nurture your love and think of all the positive aspects that are present in your life. Marriages can be saved if we give them the appropriate amount of time.