Does It Ever End?

January 2016... the month I made the move back to Florida with an 18 month old and a 3.5 year old. I was trying my damndest to be brave. I wanted too better myself so bad. I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn’t know it would end up taking two and a half years. 

Fast forward to now, April 2018. I have less than a month left in nursing school and it’s still just as hard as the beginning. For example, Wednesday I have 450 questions and nearly 40 paragraphs do. I also have a proctored online exam and my last unit exam too take. Every week is crammed full of homework and test with no breaks. I try to remind myself of all the knowledge that I’ve gained. I went into this knowing nothing and now I can confidently stroll in a room and educate my patient on most common diseases and drugs. I have a wealth of useful and useless knowledge to thank the past two and a half years for, but school isn’t the only difficult part about life. 

I’ve spent this time struggling with my children. It’s like my husband is on an extended deployment with short weekend visits home. This really takes a toll on us all. The kiddos have the worst attitudes. It’s always a fight to get them to eat a normal dinner or a tantrum when I want them to come inside. Don’t you dare ask B to do anything... you might get a nasty snarl and a high tempered remark. Jo is quick to burst and won’t hesitate to ball his fist up and yell in anger. School work is a struggle with B. Its a fight every night to get his homework done and a lecture about handwriting every day. The feelings I get from watching my children struggle are hard to cope with. I’m quick to anger and end up lecturing them on how things should have been done. It’s upsetting to watch them with other kids their age. It’s hard not to compare them and it’s easy to forget their life struggles. 

Tonight I’m feeling a bit resentful. Im hating myself for wanting to expand my horizons. I just want to go back to our small little military house on the cul-de-sac. I want the long weekends spent exploring and the quick ice cream trips. I have to keep reminding myself that some day this will all pay off, and my kids will have something more normal. We’ve worked too hard to give up now. 

Kindergarten Woes

Can you believe my child is in KINDERGARTEN!? It's crazy to think he's already five.

During his second week of school, I received a note telling me he needed to work on his penmanship... he's five. Hell, I'm 25 and I need to work on my penmanship.

 I might be making light of this now, but I'm still really annoyed by it. Do teachers/schools really expect children coming into kindergarten to write neatly? When I was in school (yep, that phrase), we were just learning to write our names in kindergarten. I started this journey knowing that a lot would be expected. I kept repeating it to Chance and he kept brushing me off. B attended VPK and got lots of practice. I felt like he was going into Kindergarten prepared. Is he as prepared as some students? Of course not. I'm not going to lie, I've known for a long time that B was a little slower than other children. It's not because he isn't extremely bright, he just doesn't like academics. He can spout anything out about animals, cars and places, but he hates learning. For example, we were recently visiting the GA Aquarium and B informed us that a specific bright orange fish was a Garibaldi... guess what? He was 100% right. He went through the whole aquarium naming the creatures. I was completely unaware that he knew this stuff. Don't get me wrong, he can recognize his letters and numbers... he just doesn't like to do it. Last week he had to write 2s for his homework. He cried really hard because he just couldn't figure it out. I hate that something as simple as a 2 has frustrated him so badly. He comes by that frustration honestly though. In an effort to help him with his skills, I took to Pinterest to find some tips. Here are a few things we have implemented.

 1. Highlighting the bottom line of his papers. This is helping him with letter placement. He knows that the little letters should be completely highlighted.

 2. I sit with him and make little chants for letters and numbers. For example, 5 goes across the top, down to the middle and has a big belly like Santa. I know it's so silly, but he says it to himself while writing and it keeps him on track.

 3. We've been playing with play dough and fidget spinners. We've never owned play dough... I HATE everything about it. When I read it could help, we immediately went to Target and grabbed a couple packs of it. The kids really love sitting on the porch making sculptures. We also picked up a metal fidget spinner. It's a bit heavier than a plastic ones and forces him to use his finger muscles.

 4. I recently bought some pencil grips that will help with his grip. He seems to have the proper grip, but they were highly recommended and anything is worth a try. I was lucky to find so many great articles on penmanship.

 These are just a few tips that we found helpful. If you're experiencing this too, remember that they're only children. Their fine motor skills aren't fully developed until they're at least seven. Be patient, many skills are developmentally above them and they will take time to grasp them. Let them be little and learn at their own pace.