Military life decisions

It's so impossible to be happy while your heart is away. Chance and I have spent the last eight months living in separate places. It's been tough for us and the kids. I've personally shed a lot of tears and wanted to quit so many times. 

Here we are, eight months in, and we still haven't made our decision. In January we were so sure that Chance would be discharging after this year. it was the whole point for me moving and getting a leg up on school. 

Things have happened this year that have changed our minds. Our finances aren't where we really want them and we're super nervous about living with no income for a short period. Chance got served his hard copy orders this week and things got real. 10 months of school in San Diego... That would be 10 more months apart or me dropping school to move. Both of those ideas are terrifying. 

So here we are, still attempting to decide if we're continuing on with military life or saying goodbye. It's the hardest decision I've ever had to make. There's been multiple instances where I thought we were making a tough decision. None of them compare to this one. No matter what we choose we know that life will have a rough point. We know that there are benefits to any choice as well. 

I'm worried on some many levels. I'm scared that financially hard times will put extra stress on our relationship. I'm worried that me quitting school will be the end of my education. I'm concerned with moving B's school. I'm worried about deployments and long days spent apart. 

We've given ourselves until Sunday to choose what's best for our family. I've made list after list hoping that something would flip a switch. I've prayed for a sign and begged that we didn't have to make this decision. Growing up sucks.  Adulting sucks. Life isn't getting any easier for us. These next couple days will be stressful, but we'll get through it. Somehow we always have. We're very blessed to even have so many great options. 

Wish us luck with our decision and check back for an update. 

Welcome to my blog

I thought about how I was going to lay out this first post for days. I wanted it to be perfect and enticing. Let's face it, that's so not me.

I'm Sami, mom of two energetic boys and wife of a loving man. The boys and I recently moved to Florida so I could pursue my nursing degree. I like to consider myself a simple person, but I'm far to complicated. I over think things, constantly worry, and forget myself quite often. I refuse to let all of this bring me down. This year I planned to take action and better myself. I want to take responsibility for my actions and be the first to stand up and try something. I want to be the glimmering star in the sea of darkness.

I've created this blog as an outlet for my feelings. A way to hold myself accountable and celebrate all things about me. I also intend to focus on my family and all our fun adventures. This next year is going to be very challenging for us and I'd love to share our journey with y'all.

    These are my boys, my family.

Chance is my hardworking husband. He is a sonar technician in the Navy and is currently stationed in Virginia. In December he will be discharging and heading home to us.

B is my oldest boy. He's a fun loving little guy who isn't afraid of anything. He keeps me on my toes and always surprises me.

Ryker is my little four eyes. He's a Mama's baby for sure. He's terrified of everything and always need cuddles.

My boys keep me very busy. If the little ones don't need me, the big one does. I love being the person they all come to with their problems. They don't know I need them as much as they need me.

I'm so excited to see this blog grow and I really hope y'all will follow along for our upcoming journey to civilian life.